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Obama just learned by watching CNN and totally astounded to find out…he is married (from people’s cube)

Posted on | June 4, 2013 | 6 Comments

President Obama Astounded to Discover that He is Married

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Oleg @ Gmail
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President Obama Astounded to Discover that He is Married

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President Obama, in a press release this morning, revealed that he was “surprised” to discover that he has apparently been married for quite some time.

Obama_Puzzled.jpg
“The first I heard of it was when I saw a CNN report on my wife…uh…”Michelle,” apparently…delivering an address to the National Coalition of Lobster Producers,” said the President. “This was as much a surprise to me as discovering rogue agents in the IRS was when I found out about that by watching CNN too.”

Presidential spokesperson Jay Carney was quick to point out that there are several layers of bureaucracy in any marriage, and that nobody on the White House Staff was aware of the marriage until CNN broke the story on March 22, 2013. Evidence suggests that the marriage has been an on-going situation, as the President has also learned that he has two children, although their names, genders, and exact ages were not provided in the press briefing.

“I think it important to note,” Carney told reporters, “that at least one and possibly both of these children were already in place at the time the previous administration occupied the White House.”

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It is possible that one or perhaps both were conceived during a Republican administration, or when there was a Republican majority in Congress.

New reports of this heretofore unknown First Lady have been surfacing, including some disturbing allegations of lavish spending on travel and accommodations over the past four years.

When questioned by reporters on the subject, Carney replied that while “such wild allegations were inevitable in an era of Republican overreach,” the President himself rarely accompanied the First Lady and had thus been completely unaware of any travel, if indeed any travel had taken place.

The Justice Department has announced it will be investigating possible leaks related to the revelation of the First Lady’s existence on CNN.

As a part of this investigation, Attorney General Eric Holder has obtained a warrant for all Fox News emails for the past 96 months.

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Comments

6 Responses to “Obama just learned by watching CNN and totally astounded to find out…he is married (from people’s cube)”

  1. bope
    June 4th, 2013 @ 12:34 pm

    MAYBE HE IS ALSO ASTOUNDED THAT HE NEVER ATTENDED COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY..

    Politics
    Barack Obama: The Ghost of Columbia University
    Jun. 4, 2013 1:31pm

    19388280  0 Wayne Allyn Root
    .Wayne Allyn Root is a Capitalist Evangelist, entrepreneur, and Libertarian-conservative Republican. He is a former Libertarian vice presidential nominee. […] Wayne Allyn Root is Capitalist Evangelist, entrepreneur, and Libertarian-conservative Republican. He is a former Libertarian vice presidential nominee. Wayne’s latest book is out on April 15, 2013: “The Ultimate Obama Survival Guide: Secrets to Protecting Your Family, Your Finances, and Your Freedom.” [ x ].
    wayne@rootforamerica.com
    Author’s Website Wayne Allyn Root’s book The Ultimate Obama Survival Guide is out now.

    President Barack Obama speaks to crowds along a rain soaked boardwalk on May 28, 2013 in Asbury Park, New Jersey. (Photo: Getty Images)
    I just returned from New York, where I attended my 30th Columbia University reunion. I celebrated with my esteemed classmates. Everyone except Barack Obama. As usual- he wasn’t there. Not even a video greeting. Not a personalized letter to his classmates. Nothing. But worse, no one at our 30th reunion ever met him. The President of the United States is the ghost of Columbia University.

    I’m certainly no “Johnny come lately.” For five years now (since 2007 when it became clear Barack Obama was running for President), I’ve been quoted in the media as saying that no one I’ve ever met at Columbia can remember ever meeting, or even seeing, our college classmate Barack Obama. Don’t you think the media should be asking questions? Isn’t this a very strange story?

  2. Veritas
    June 4th, 2013 @ 1:21 pm

    Did he repeat “I DO” from a teleprompter?

  3. Rod Riddle
    June 4th, 2013 @ 1:58 pm

    All part of the orchestrated cover up. The MSM has been complaining about their journalists being targeted by the Soebarkah Rogue Regime lately. I don’t feel the least bit sorry for these pukes as they are the same ones that have been willingly taking part in the massive coverup for 5 years now. They could have blown this thing wide open back in 08′!

  4. Hunk
    June 4th, 2013 @ 2:40 pm

    Wait a minute. I thought he was married to his Pakistani room mate many years ago, or, was it his boy toy and fellow Coke user Larry Sinclair when he was an IL. Senator? Not to mention Reggie Love his apparent boy toy/personal trainer. Inquiring minds would really like to know.

  5. The Constitution
    June 4th, 2013 @ 11:05 pm

    Hmmm…let’s examine the one photo of O with his hand against his lower jaw. Now, that hand is his (right-hand), since the thumb is not showing and the small finger is at the other end! Guess what that means?

    It appears that he’s got his wedding ring on the (RIGHT-HAND)…??? Now why would a person in the WH wear that ring on the WRONG HAND????

  6. tai game mobile
    June 30th, 2013 @ 11:04 pm

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